I thought about what it must be like to be a kid these days. How it’s inevitable to absorb fear, and that it feels so unfair that kids have to be afraid that someone might come into their school and try to shoot them. 95% of schools participate in active shooter drills. Do they help? Do they work or do they spread more anxiety and fear? HOW DID WE GET HERE???

Hello from Florida! Finally on a trip we’ve been trying to take for at least 2 years. The last time we were here was actually the last trip we took in Feb 2020 before… well you know. So we are back to visit for a couple days and trying to relax. It’s in the trying to relax part that I find the push/pull of what vacation really is.

You can’t fire me, I quit’ I swear is what I heard from my 2010 Pontiac Vibe last Saturday at the dealership… if you read last week’s newsletter, you will know this car had a nickname of ‘Tim.’ Even though I do refer to her as a ‘she’ their name is Tim.

New cars make me nervous. Will we get along? Can I trust them? What types of quirks will they have and will I be able to live with that? How quickly will it turn into a messy car, stacked with mementos that sort of just meld into it. As I write this, I am avoiding the ‘final clean’ of Le Vibe, nicknamed ‘Tim’ by my friend Jason Crosby,

Everyone is on their own journey. And all I know is that mine is complex. I still have an inner shame voice if I eat what I deem in the moment as ‘too much’ or if the waist band on my pants feels a little too tight on any given day, or if I see a photo of myself and immediately think I look fat. This voice amplifies itself multiple times a day and is reinforced by not so subtle advertising everywhere.

So how do we go about finding wholeness on a more regular basis? It’s a question I am always asking, and I come to different answers all of the time. Lately I’ve been feeling pretty good physically, mentally and emotionally. A work in progress as always, I have found a lot of joy in living and one of the reasons is because I left the job that was killing me slowly.

…starting is hard. And once you do make it to the mat, the truth comes out. I’m not as flexible as I imagined. Damn I am out of shape. This floor is dirty. My dog is going to eat my face. I don’t breath deeply most of the time…

When you look back, what impacts you the most in your own life? Do you lean on traumatic events that shaped you, or do you revel in happy times? Do you remember when you were less aware and compare to times where you can’t unknow things anymore, and realize that is the rub? I know I do.

I must move more slowly, because I want to. I want to savor my conversations with you like they are precious mini pies eaten with spicy cocoa. Like the first morning snow. Like the string section in the Nutcracker Suite. I ask, how can I be of service, how can I love more, how can I exude peace when Kroger is crazy? I believe in it. I believe in small acts of kindness. I believe in mini pies. Dutch apple, chocolate ganache oreo, cheese graham cracker, ricotta custard and whatever else my ingredients lead me to. xoxo happy holidays,

Whether I am playing or experiencing it, music always continues to enrich my life. I consider it a gift to be able to step onto a stage and forget about everything except for the task at hand. I always receive back ten-fold what I put out into the environment as a performer. It is a shot of adrenaline to my spirit that I am always grateful to experience. It truly is magical.

“The urgency to write is a call from God… it’s impossible to fail. Your writing is a current in a mountain stream you are learning how to dip into.” Suzanne Kingsbury

"Finding joy in everyday things was my way of finding that healing moment for each day," Palmer said. "Even if I was feeling less than 100% on a day, it gave me a lot of hope and strength to know there was joy all around me."

As the temperatures have taken a sudden dip, people and animals living without a home are suddenly in a state of emergency. Shelters do not always provide an appropriate environment for this population, especially those who have pets. One of the greatest aspects of SAFPAW is that they take care of the fur babies along with the humans, including taking them to vet appointments, providing food and needed medications. Right now SAFPAW founder Laurie Green is working hard around the clock to provide propane, blankets, and tents for those who live outside.

How does one cope in the sensory overload that is known as Las Vegas? I’ve been roaming the aisles of casinos for the last couple days, not much of a gambler myself, but along for the ride with my parents and partner, all of whom enjoy the rush of winning vs losing and the dopamine hits from bling blang blung of joker wild poker, monopoly money grab, coyote moon or buffalo gamble.

As much as I was loving getting back into the NY life, we had to fly out early Sunday AM in order to see Lizzo at Bridgestone Arena in Nashville. It kinda blew my mind to see two shows like that back to back. I’m in awe of these powerhouse women and they are all crushing! Brittany, Allison, Brandi, Lizzo! C’mon!

Since I was a kid, I have loved Cleveland baseball. Formerly known as the Indians until they changed their name this year to a less racist one, I have always been a fan. I’ve doubled down since their ploy in 2016 against the Cubs in the World Series, which they lost in a heartfelt 7 games.

Singing with him made me feel better. He stayed and we sang a few more. Healing the woe of a dead battery and wishing John a happy birthday, we felt him smile down on us right then and there.

JOY. Finding it in simple things. It is a wonderful arrival to my mindscape. Sometimes I was too busy over the years to appreciate joy. Does that sound strange? I thought I was depressed. But I was just overbooked. When not overbooked, it can be easy to lose joy again because you are too busy wondering what your purpose is. Instead, forget about it. Appreciate the mundane. This is me, talking to me, but I have to say, it’s all worth the grand efforts in pausing.