I was working in the Palliative Care Unit at Vanderbilt when the pandemic hit. Palliative Care is a specialty in medical care that focuses on treating the symptoms of a disease that cannot be cured. Sometimes it leads straight into end of life care in a short period of time. I had been doing this work for the past 7 years and found it rewarding and that it was my calling.

Everyone is on their own journey. And all I know is that mine is complex. I still have an inner shame voice if I eat what I deem in the moment as ‘too much’ or if the waist band on my pants feels a little too tight on any given day, or if I see a photo of myself and immediately think I look fat. This voice amplifies itself multiple times a day and is reinforced by not so subtle advertising everywhere.

So how do we go about finding wholeness on a more regular basis? It’s a question I am always asking, and I come to different answers all of the time. Lately I’ve been feeling pretty good physically, mentally and emotionally. A work in progress as always, I have found a lot of joy in living and one of the reasons is because I left the job that was killing me slowly.